Love and Marriage: Five things I wouldn't do.

There are somethings I just do not think I'll ever do to preserve a relationship. Persons are usually a bit surprised when I relate the first one, but after an explanation, they usually agree that it is a valid point.

I would never:

1. Fight endlessly to save a marriage or a relationship. In my view if we are not meant to be together why would I want to fight to keep both the man and myself in a trap for life? He will never be able to love me fully and that would make me endlessly miserable. That is certainly not the way I would like to live my life.

I also figure that I would end up fighting for a relationship which will end anyways. I may be able to fight and keep it together for five or ten years but the misery would not be worth it. So many partners end up hurting each other more, sometimes physically, sometimes fatally, Had they admitted to the mistake of being involved with each other and moved on, all that drama would not have taken place.

2. Allow my child to suffer through a turbulent relationship. For me there is no chance of a negotiation. My child must have a happy healthy life as long as I am able to provide that. Sickness and death are the only two factors which should prevent this from happening.

Too many hurt children are out there. Hurt by their own parents and their rocky relationship. As much as it pains the heart of many children that their parents are not together, I have heard children from homes where the parents do not get along, say how much they would rather the parents separate and they live with one parent with some level of peace, than to remain in a home where there was no peace and evidence of love between parents.

I would rather my child be with a caring single parent with easy access to the other parent, rather than to have both parents fighting all the time.

3. Cut myself off from friends and family. Any man who decides to dictate to me who to eliminate from my life will himself be eiminated. As a rule I only keep as friends those who enrich my life. This includes my ex.

That may be the bone of contention for some men but the key is getting to know my friends. Being offended by my being friends with my ex simply because he is my ex just does not qaulify. I would be rather careful of men who try to select my friends for me.

4. Change my views simply because my husband or partner does not agree with them. Any man who is not accommodating and respectful of my way of thinking, my views and my opinions is just not worthy,

Why would I want to give anyone control over my mental faculties?

5. Live a lie. I know for sure that lies will always catch up with us sooner or later.

Quality relationships require quality time and effort from both parties. The key to a successful relationship is for each person to be true to themselves and their partner. Be contented and confident in who you are and what you have to offer.

Trying to offer more than we can and living in a fantasy land by not being truthful to ourselves, is truly the key for failure in a relationship.